White and Tender, Surround the Center

Among my "Coffey-licious Liver Tonic"-induced blog housecleaning activities: a restored link to the Egg Song. It doesn't go directly to the song, but takes you instead to a glorious I Love Egg picture, with the Egg Song link quite obviously at the top right. To abusively quote the lyrics to "Sweet and Low-Down" for my own purposes, "If you need a tonic-- and the need is chronic, if you're in a crisis, my advice is . . ." to view the Egg Song movie repeatedly until your sobs of hopelessness turn to giggles of glee, your skin sagging with ennui is revitalized with the buoyancy of joy, and your rosy grief-cracked eyes are sated, soothed, and glazed with egg-stasy. [Pun inspired by Nick Kwiatek.]

A V-Day post exxxxtra-specially for Erin Coffey

While I delightedly await the momentary arrival of the liver-damage-free booze, "Coffey-licious Liver Tonic" (here's hoping it's coffee-flavored!), I'm inspired to share with you the recently completed page of my office Mad Libs-A-Day Calendar for February 14th, 2007:

A Symbol of Love

People know Cupid to be a scantily clad sheep with a pair of donkeys on his back and a bow and child in his suspender. Cupid shoots a commodity into your hand, and you automatically harness in love with someone. [Thanks to Dan Greenbaum, Martin Lynch, and Joshua Rosenberg, in order of seniority.]

While we're on the topic, I'll share on (like a crazy diamond) today's page in the Mad Libs office calendar. (It's apparently trying to get us in the mood to hand over our hard-earned shekels in exchange for overpriced heart-shaped edibles tomorrow.)

My Favorite Candy

My favorite candy is speedboat because it fluctuates in your vas deferns, not in your scoreboards. At least that's what the goat cheese package says. [Not sure which staff members to blame for this one.]