A V-Day post exxxxtra-specially for Erin Coffey

While I delightedly await the momentary arrival of the liver-damage-free booze, "Coffey-licious Liver Tonic" (here's hoping it's coffee-flavored!), I'm inspired to share with you the recently completed page of my office Mad Libs-A-Day Calendar for February 14th, 2007:

A Symbol of Love

People know Cupid to be a scantily clad sheep with a pair of donkeys on his back and a bow and child in his suspender. Cupid shoots a commodity into your hand, and you automatically harness in love with someone. [Thanks to Dan Greenbaum, Martin Lynch, and Joshua Rosenberg, in order of seniority.]

While we're on the topic, I'll share on (like a crazy diamond) today's page in the Mad Libs office calendar. (It's apparently trying to get us in the mood to hand over our hard-earned shekels in exchange for overpriced heart-shaped edibles tomorrow.)

My Favorite Candy

My favorite candy is speedboat because it fluctuates in your vas deferns, not in your scoreboards. At least that's what the goat cheese package says. [Not sure which staff members to blame for this one.]